You Can Let Go

It's been a while since I've been emotional... until I heard this song just now for the first time.

You Can Let Go
Crystal Shawanda

Wind blowing on my face
Sidewalk flying beneath my bike
A five year olds first taste
Of what freedom's really like
He was running right beside me
His hand holding on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street

"You can let go now daddy
You can let go
Oh I think I'm ready to do this on my own
It's still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be okay now daddy
You can let go"

I was standing at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I've been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife
When the preacher asked
"Who gives this woman?"
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears
He kept holding tightly to my arm
'Til I whispered in his ear:

"You can let go now daddy
You can let go
Oh I think I'm ready to do this on my own
It's still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be okay now daddy
You can let go"

It was killing me
To see the strongest man I ever knew
Wasting away to nothing in that hospital room
"You know he's only hanging on for you"
That's what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breaking
As I crawled up in his bed and said:

"You can let go now daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready to do this on my own
Its gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be okay now daddy
You can let go
You can let go"

I'm am and will always be in awe of folks who write lyrics. Music is an amazing thing :)

Daddy's Day

I'm confused on Father's Day. It kinda comes and goes with little thought since 'physically' (cards, presents, phone calls, dinners) I can't celebrate with my wonderful dad :) Of course I miss him greatly, but I miss him every day. Today isn't necessarily any harder than the rest, though I guess I feel like it should be.

Today was pretty cool. Subconsciously I was drawn to him by things that we shared or reminded me of him. I really feel like he's been by my side all day :)

This morning while cleaning off the kitchen table I grabbed a pile of change to dump in our money jars. Something in me said - "hmm wonder how much we have?" I grabbed the jars & roll papers and headed downstairs. As I began counting out nickels, dimes, and quarters it dawned on me. How appropriate that I'm rolling coins on Father's Day, something my daddy taught me to do when I was kid and something I enjoyed doing with him & for him :) Yes I know they make machines that do this for you now, but I love the sentimental feeling & memories of rolling my own. It always reminds me of dad and makes me feel close to him :)

Later, after weeding the front flower bed and re-potting some plants I set to work organizing the garage a bit. I came across the stain we bought a couple weeks ago and decided to stain the golf ball display that belonged to my dad. His good football reffing buddy had made the golf ball display case. I snagged it from his office after he passed away - but just haven't gotten around to staining it yet! (yes I am that much of a slacker - 4 years!) As I began to sponge on the stain - it hit be again - how appropriate I'm working on this project that's part of my dad!

Of course Father's day isn't only about me and my dad, it's also about my grandpa, my brother, my brother-in law, my friends that are celebrating their first Father's Day today, my friends who are experienced father's and so many of my friends that are hoping and praying they'll be able to celebrate being a dad next year! I hope everyone of you has had a wonderful day!

I especially enjoy watching my brother be a Dad! He's awesome at it!

I don't think AB knew quite what to think about the 'floaty swimsuit'.

Here she is, unphased by the waves that try to tackle her,
knowing Daddy is right there to take care of her!

Miss You.

Hard to believe it's been 4 years. I miss you every day. Thanks for such wonderful memories and being the best dad a little girl could ask for :) LOVE YOU!